I've been sick for over a week.

What started as a bad cold in June turned into a sinus infection in July. By Monday, I knew I needed to rest. Not “kind of” rest either…actually rest. The lie down and do nothing kind.

And I was going to. I really was.

But then the Should Monster showed up.

You know this voice. It doesn't come in loud, demanding and hissing because that would be too easy to dismiss. It comes in reasonable.It comes in small like…You should just do this one thing first. You should bring your notebook downstairs, just in case you get a burst of energy and want to do something.

I mean, I had plans for the week! Strategy work, a couple of talks I'm developing, client calls to prep for. And even with me feeling so tired and foggy, some part of my brain was trying to negotiate with my rest. That's what the Should Monster does...whispers and negotiates...

But the Should Monster doesn't have as much hold on me as he used to. I notice him sneaking in and I'm usually able to stop him in his tracks.

Here's what I've learned to do when he shows up trying to guilt trip me: I pause, and I ask myself one question:

What do I actually need right now?

And I ask it three ways — of my body, my mind, and my spirit.

On Monday, the answers were pretty clear. My body had zero energy. My mind was foggy…so foggy that stringing a coherent thought together felt like a project. And my spirit? Just as run down as the rest of me. There was nothing in the tank. And if you don't believe me, ask my husband. I wasn't chatty at all...I wasn't even talking to myself...which is completely unlike me (much to his delight I think 😂).

I knew if I pushed through, whatever I made would not my best work... and I'd probably be sick longer too. And I knew that I could rearrange my schedule to make room for rest. So, that’s what I did…rested. I put the notebook away. I didn't bring the books downstairs just in case. I just... stopped.

And I think we all know that the Should Monster doesn't only show up when you're sick. It shows up when you're depleted, overwhelmed, or just plain tired. It shows up on Sunday evenings and Friday afternoons. It shows up when you've already done enough and something in you can't quite believe that it was enough.

And this monster is sneaky because it doesn't feel like the monster. It feels like you being a good, responsible person.

The three-part check-in is simple, but it works: body, mind, spirit. What does each one actually need right now? Not what you should do. What do you need?

Sometimes the answer is rest. Sometimes it's movement. Sometimes it's a hard conversation or a work sprint or a long walk. Or maybe something else entirely.

But you can't hear the real answer if the Should Monster is doing all the talking.

Your One Invitation This Week

This week, I invite you to notice where and when you use the word “should”. Listen for when it shows up in conversation with yourself or others. And maybe, just maybe, pause long enough to ask what you actually need instead.

Because unplugging isn't just about your phone. Sometimes it's unplugging from the voice that never seems to take a sick day.

Sending love and healthy vibes, Chris

PS: Feel guilty every time you stop? That's the Should Monster talking.

If you’re ready to tame it, book a Spark Session. It’s one hour to pause, get perspective, and choose one clear shift that helps you create more space in your real life.

→ Book a Spark Session​