Someone asked me this week how to go from knowing they need to rest to actually resting.

And I wish I had an easy answer for that question. Because the truth is…you can know you need to rest and still never actually rest.

It’s just like any other habit you’re trying to build:

• You can know you need to exercise more and still not exercise.
• You can know you need to eat healthier and still buy the junk food.

That’s the strange thing about knowing.

For example: I want to eat healthier AND know that if I buy a bag of potato chips, I’m probably going to eat most of them. Especially if they are salt and vinegar. And yet, I still buy them. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Okay, back to my conversation on rest…because this is a pattern I lived for years.

I knew I was overworked. I knew something had to change. But I kept saying yes to new projects, kept working while feeling “on the edge” and even took my paid time off (aka vacation) while still keeping my phone nearby and checking email. (That’s why I call it “pretend time off.”)

And I’m not even sure I could have told you why. Habit? Responsibility? Old beliefs about work? Probably some combination of all of them.

So maybe the problem isn’t that we don’t know. Maybe it’s that we don’t notice the moment when we override what we already know.

And I think that’s where change actually starts. Not with deciding you’re finally going to “rest more.” But with noticing….

• Noticing when your eyes start to feel tired halfway through the afternoon.
• Noticing when your shoulders creep toward your ears.
• Noticing when you’ve read the same sentence three times and your brain is clearly done.

And maybe most importantly, noticing what you do next.

• Do you stop and take a break?
• Do you keep going?
• Do you tell yourself, “I’ll take a break after I finish this”?

I mean, most of the time, we’re not consciously deciding to push through or keep working. We just do it.

So how do you change something you don’t even notice you’re doing?

You make it specific enough to see.

For example, “I need more rest” is a big, vague idea. But…“every afternoon around 3:00, I can’t think straight and yet I keep pushing for another two hours” is specific enough that you can actually do something about it.

Maybe you put a break on your calendar around that time. You might take a walk or have a quick dance break.

It’s the same with my potato chip example. I know I want to eat healthier. I also know the pattern: if I buy the bag and open it, I’m probably going to eat most of it.

So the easiest way for me to eat healthier isn’t to say it and hope it happens. It’s not to rely on willpower once the bag is open. It’s not to buy the bag in the first place.

Once you can see the specific pattern, you have a much better chance of changing it.

My invitation for you this week

Pick one thing you’ve been wanting to change related to rest and slowing down, and turn it into something you can actually notice.

Here are three ideas:

• If you want to spend less time on your phone: Try to notice the exact moment (mid-scroll, waiting in line, watching TV) when your hand moves before your brain decides to.
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• If you want to take a real break during your workday: Pick your worst hour…you know the one….where you’re pushing through instead of pausing. Put a 15-minute break there. When it arrives, notice what you do. Do you take it or push through?
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• If you want to finish work at a certain time: Pick your stopping time. When it hits, notice what happens. Do you make an excuse to stay for fifteen more minutes? Or do you stop?

Oh, and one thing that helps with this? Check in on your one thing at the start and end of your day.

You don’t have to change the pattern yet. You don’t even have to get it “right.”

Just catch the moment when what you said you wanted and what you do don’t align. Feel free to say something like….“Oh. There it is.” That’s noticing.

And once you can see the pattern, you can start choosing differently. But we’ll talk about that later. 😬

I’d love to know…which one are you picking to work on this week? Phone, break, or stop time? Or something else entirely? Hit reply and let me know.