There's a moment so brief you might miss it. It's the one between thinking about your phone and actually holding it in your hand.

Most of the time, we're already scrolling before we even remember deciding to pick it up. But what lives in that split second before? What are we actually reaching for?

We say we want to use our phones less. We set app limits and try digital detoxes and delete Instagram (again). And sure, sometimes that helps. But I wonder if we're solving for the wrong thing.

I wonder if it's not really the phone that is the problem. I wonder if it's something else entirely.

Maybe something like:

• How uncomfortable we are with boredom.
• How we default to distraction when we don't want to feel.
• How we are so comfortable and used to constant connectivity - being able to get almost anything in an instant.

When I catch myself reaching for my phone, I notice something interesting.

I'm not always reaching for information.
I'm not always reaching to do something specific.
I'm often reaching away from something.

Away from the boredom. Away from the restlessness in my body. Away from the thoughts swirling in my head about all the things.

The phone promises to fill that space. To smooth over the discomfort. To give me something (anything!) other than whatever I'm trying not to think or feel.

And it works. Until it doesn't.

Yes, our phones are designed to be compelling. The pull is real and intentional. And sure, there are settings and adjustments that can help...I'll be exploring those in more detail in the future (including my upcoming workshop...see below!)

But here's what's interesting about unplugging...it's not always about the device.

It's about what happens when we stop outsourcing every uncomfortable moment to a screen. When we let ourselves be bored. When we sit with the restlessness instead of scrolling it away. When we choose to feel our feelings and get curious about them instead of numbing it with one more scroll session.

This is the work I've been doing recently...learning to pause before I pick up my phone. Not to be perfect. Not to never pick up my phone. But to notice what I actually need for in that moment.

Sometimes it's connection. Sometimes it's escape. Sometimes it's just... not wanting to be alone with my thoughts. And yes, sometimes it's to get information or do a task.

But it's in that pause where I get to make a choice - between autopilot and awareness and between reflex and response.

These tiny pauses are not really about being better at managing technology.

They're about remembering we get to choose. Again and again and again.

That's what unplugging means to me. Not just disconnecting from devices, but reconnecting with the choice that's always been ours.

Your Invitation This Week

Before you reach for your phone, pause for just one breath. Notice what you're actually reaching for. What are you hoping to find? What are you trying to avoid?

You don't have to change anything. Just notice.

Want to learn how to be more intentional with your phone? Then join me for You and Your Phone. It's a 90-minute workshop where we will explore the emotional and situational reasons we reach for our phones, look at our patterns with curiosity, and experiment with small adjustments that support the relationship you actually want with your device. Plus, you get two weeks of follow up support from me!

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I'd love to hear what comes up for you as you think about how you use your phone. Is it something you are looking to be more intentional about? Or do you have a good relationship with it already? Just curious...

Sending love and unplugged vibes, Chris

PS: I need your help. I'm creating a guide about morning and evening rhythms that actually work for you. It will be a series of reflective questions to help you build something that works for your life. And, I want to include real practices from real people.

If you're open to sharing what your routine actually looks like (or what gets in the way), here's a quick survey. You don't need to have a routine in place to answer! I'll use these to shape a guide called Starting and Ending Your Day, Your Way.

And...if you've already responded...thank you!!!